Sports Bras

Lets be honest, any sniggering over the use of the term 30JJ size bra is wholly inappropriate for a serious defence site and very immature.

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But I have to confess, when I read this…

I take a 30JJ size bra

I love my breasts 

I lost all interest in the story of personal protective equipment and gender quality.

Don’t judge me :)

Of course, main complaint is the Telegraphs use of an image of a Canadian female soldier.

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Red Trousers
Red Trousers
August 11, 2014 8:04 am

I recall with fondness an early morning PT session for the Div HQ staff in 1 Div. We had to pair up for various exercises, and I was paired with the rather lovely new SO3 G1.

To ensure our press ups were properly done, you put your fist on the floor, and had to make sure that the other’s chest contacted it.

Unexpected to have my fist being repeatedly groped by the chest of a lady I had not yet properly met, but I got over the shock. ;)

August 11, 2014 8:46 am

I read this post with an M&S bra’s advert to the right of the screen.


August 11, 2014 9:11 am

The story clearly requires more detailed and specific photographic evidence . . . . of course, only for a technical appraisal to obtain a greater understanding of the difficulties that are mentioned, and which we – those of us not so effected – would like to develop a better understanding.

Gloomy Northern Boy
Gloomy Northern Boy
August 11, 2014 9:32 am

Boss – we are judging you to be pretty normal, but I hope Mrs TD doesn’t edit your work…

@RT – trust you warmed your hands…re the Red Trouser Templars, perhaps we should make a bid for that Mistral to serve as a floating base in extra-territorial waters? might need to do us a legal brief on Piracy, but I have great confidence in him… :-)


The Other Chris
August 11, 2014 9:53 am

Red Trouser Templars operating from a carrier?



Gloomy Northern Boy
Gloomy Northern Boy
August 11, 2014 10:56 am

@TOC – a modestly proportioned and much cheaper Amphibious Assault Vessel with considerable storage space for landing craft and nice green tanks (with a white badge, carrying a red cross, natch)…of just the sort that our esteemed Grand Master has publicly approved of, even at TD Towers. :-)


Deja Vu
Deja Vu
August 11, 2014 12:33 pm

Is this going to be a Joint requirement? Will they all be purple?

We await TD’s multi part series on the FOSBH (Future Over Shoulder Boulder Holder) procurement fiasco complete with NAO and Commons Select Committee reports on the cost over run as well as photos of the offerings from BAE, BHS, M&S, etc etc.

August 11, 2014 12:39 pm

“Henceforth all female members of the military will be issued male junior enlisted military members to support and defend their breastworks. This will be cheaper than issuing so-called “sports bras,” and there should be no dearth of volunteers. If there are too many volunteers, they will be selected by lot.” -MoD

August 11, 2014 12:58 pm

@ TD
“Of course, main complaint is the Telegraphs use of an image of a Canadian female soldier”

If you think that is bad, look at their report on the Tank Biathlon in Russia using T72’s, the video clip is of Israel Merkava’s either on exercise or moving towards the Gaza Strip, there is even a M113 thrown in for good measure!!

August 11, 2014 1:06 pm

Holy…CBRN, that is terrible reporting!

Unless there happens to be a town Moscow, Israel… :) That might explain the Merkavas and the Star of David flying M-113s.

If you looked really closely, you can see the outer shell is made of cardboard, the Merkavas are really well disguised T-72s. :P

August 11, 2014 6:42 pm

Is there now a need for virginity belts for ships’ captains of the female variety?

August 11, 2014 7:03 pm

“I take a 30JJ size bra and for 20 years I’ve had to go out and purchase decent support myself.

This is like the bloke who wrote feedback about the then new tier 2 combat nappy, writing that the biggest problem with it was that his balls hung down either side of it. Cracked me up that nobody noticed that one and kept it in whatever trials acceptance document I was reading.

August 11, 2014 7:05 pm


I am cursed with one of those brains that remembers little pointless crap.

It is not widely know that the anti submarine Q ships tried in early World war 2 were manned by merchant navy.

The navy got the to sign articles for temporary. Service. Only on some ships it forgot. Which means as late as 1941. His Britanic majestiy’s govt were employing Privater citizens to fight in a war. Privaters or Pirates by any other name…

Gloomy Northern Boy
Gloomy Northern Boy
August 11, 2014 7:21 pm

– Pirates, unless they had a Letter of Marque granted by His Majesty King George VI to operate a Private Man-of-War…

Me too. :-)


August 11, 2014 10:28 pm

Not really on topic but try this. About the ONLY thing I remembered from solictors final exams study in probate was that anyone no matter how young can witness a will. Provided they can read. Not recomended but legal.

One day the snr probate lawyer at my first firm where I was a trainee, entered my (cupboard under the stairs) office in the slough of despond, saying the firm was in shtuc cos some fool had allowed a 16 year old to witneess a Will for what turned out to be a surprisingly large estates.

A right old batttle was allready going on and the 1st wife (who had a serious wronged woman complex), had a bunch of right wannabe sharks acting for her. (Quick tip the more aggresive the lawyer, generally the more crap they are). I nearly got fired coz wife number two had scattered his ashes over the woods where the used to tryst, before he ditched the wannabe bunny boiler. Her solicitors demanded to know what we were going to do about this outrage. My letter back basically saying stop winding up your client, what do you expect us to do apart from lend them a Hoover? Was stopped by my boss at post signing.

Anyway snr probate lawyer was holding a counsels opinion served by the other side, in effect saying the new will was void becuse of the age of the witnees. He wanted me to search out and draft brief to an equally snr counsel to try and save the 2nd will and the firm a pounding for negligence.

Bollocks says I. IXION quotes chapter and verse case and everything. He was to say the least sceptical, but went off himself to check. A bottle of very nice whiskey was on my desk the next morning.

Boy did my reputation get a boost from that…….

His letter to the otherside suggesting they get their money back from their counsel was a masterpeice of smooth sarcasm.

Dangerous Dave
Dangerous Dave
August 12, 2014 11:01 am

Hmmm, I can see it now . . .

1/. 2015, MoD announce plan to purchase off-the-shelf sports lingerie for service personnel (f).
2/. “Trials of Truth” between products by Matalan, Primark and M&S abandoned after M&S wins by showing a different model (38C) and providing a “power-point presentation” of the 30JJ concept that the service would purchase. Other potential suppliers put in official complaint. Some senior service personnel (m) involved in overseeing the competition are “retired early” to the Bide A Wee Rest Home for the Terminally Bewildered.
3/. 20-year in-house development of FOSBH, commences but requirements for the design are constantly changed due to the aging fleet of in-service service personnel (f). NAO report on this fiasco alongside FF2040 calling it a massive procurement failure.
4/. MoD spokesperson replies that the FOSBH programme had gone “tits-up” but Lessons Have Been Learned.

Okay, okay. I’ll get my coat . . . . . X-D

August 12, 2014 11:03 am

Now I know why you call yourself Dangerous, almost died laughing. :)

Dangerous Dave
Dangerous Dave
August 12, 2014 11:17 am

@Observer, why thank-you. As official TD fool, I see my job as making these posts, so you all don’t have to :-D

August 12, 2014 5:24 pm


That may be the best satiric comment in the history of TD. I say satiric because not only is it spray-Ribena-all-over-the-iPhone funny, it’s the best single parody of FRES there is, with the classic elements of English comedy, biting wit and giddy schoolboy clumsiness about ladybits.

Myself I spent a bit of summer vacation in quiet assurance that by red-haired, half-Glesge/half-Texan wife could comfortably field test the JJ and offer pointers to the design engineers.

Sidebar: are you then a fan of The Last Detective (I’m always partial to Bernard Cribbins myself but have time for Peter Davison) or is the similarity of name coincidental? Always meant to ask.

Dangerous Dave
Dangerous Dave
August 13, 2014 9:03 am

. I *may* have watched a few episodes of Peter Davidson as “Dangerous Davies”. But in reality, my name is Dave, and the Dangerous bit is due to my “skill” at DIY! (especially power-tools!)

Although, since I was given the nick-name I have managed to put up 2 decorative fences (from planks, not panels, you know!), laid 2 sets of block work foundations (for a “man-shed” and a raised garden path), and put up at least 4 sets of shelves and have wired in a home Ethernet network – that are all:

a/. fully functional.
b/. look quite nice.
c/. are level (mostly).
d/. haven’t fallen down yet. :-D

The only stuff I stay away from is electrical work. Especially since cutting through a 4-way extension some years ago and realizing it was still plugged in and powered on. Left a scorch-mark in the carpet, a round hole in the scissor blades and a black blob on my retina’s for the next hour!! And that’s only 240v AC!!!

August 13, 2014 9:43 am

Well Dangerous Dave, it is understood that you probably would NOT have encountered any of those problems, if you’d been wearing a “Sports Bra” :)

Dangerous Dave
Dangerous Dave
August 13, 2014 2:06 pm

@RCT(V) – Ouch. Did you mean that post in the context of –

a/. Wearing a sports bra will make me better at DIY?


b/. Wearing a sports bra will absolve me of DIY altogether?

Just askin’

Or maybe I should wear the sports bra on my head, stick 2 pencils up my nose and say “wibble” a lot . . . . ;-)

August 15, 2014 9:37 am

Dear Daily Telegraph:
It is now over 70 years since women first served under fire in the armed forces of the United Kingdom. Can we please suggest that you get hurry up and get used to it?
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