Dear People of Somerset

Don’t worry,

We are on our way with specialist equipment and amphibious vehicles

Not this kind of amphibious vehicle

Because we flogged them off donkeys years ago, no need you see.

Have you tried any museums, or these chaps?

mmm, maybe not

We do have loads of these

Cool video eh, might be a bit cramped but the machine guns will put the shitters right up those Environment Agency fellas, what was that about dredging?

Oh, hang on a minute, didn’t we invent the hovercraft, surely we have bloody hundreds of the things?

Look at this

In service with the Royal Marines and made just down the road in Southampton

Bloody fantastic

How many, what, are you kidding?

Ah, apparently, so I have just been told, we do have some, how many fingers do you have on one hand, cut one off.

It can carry 2.4 tonnes which is a shed load of tins of beans and loaves of bread but as you can see, we might need ‘many hands’ to actually offload anything because it doesn’t have a vehicle ramp.

Tell you what though, the nice people that make them have a bigger version that carries loads more and has a bloody great big ramp so you can drive vehicles on and off.

Clever or what?

Great British enterprise and ingenuity, sold all over the world, earlier versions in service with India, Saudi Arabia, Korea and Singapore whilst the really smart one in the video is in service with our bezzy mates in Sweden

Of course we can send you some of those.

Oh, hang on a minute.

None in service you say.

No requirement you say.

Not much call for hovercraft in the desert you say.

We can definitely fill sandbags though, really big ones.

See you soon

Love and hugs

The MoD

:)

PS

Oh look, amphibious vehicles are on their way, fantastic news.

See, this is the MoD swinging into action at a moments notice.

http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/News/Business/Firms-vehicles-go-to-the-rescue-of-flood-victims-20140203113237.htm

Don’t tell anyone though, these aren’t actually MoD owned vehicles, they used to be, but as usual we sold them at the first opportunity and are in fact being provided by Leavesley International, just off the A38 in Staffordshire.

Sshhh

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