Its Curtains for the Royal Navy


Sorry about that headline, couldn’t resist.

It must be a slow news day because the MoD has just announced a contract to

refurbish chairs, mattress covers, bed linen and curtains across the fleet

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In 2012 I published a post asking ‘Who the f*ck designed those seat covers’

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Think Defence has influence you see!

Every time anyone of the Dark Blue complains about me be anti Royal Navy I am simply going to point them to their new soft furnishings, see those, you have me to thank :)

#Life Without Limits

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Oooh pastels, lovely. Shame about the curtains. Look like left overs from a British Rail HS125 circa 1979. I hear the Swedish beach house look is all the rage now.

Red Trousers

Just one reason why TD is a breath of fresh air. Part of service life is being able to rip the piss out of others also in some form of service, and service people know that it is only in jest.

So, after the RAF April Fool open thread, now this, it must be the Army’s turn next. Personally, I’d think a promising line of jest is Public Duties, although one could always counter with the fact that HMtQ doesn’t invite the Andrew to her Birthday Parades, and the ever comical Queen’s Colour Squadron (why does that phrase always being to mind a rainbow flag?).

Bracing, bracing… ;)

All Politicians are the Same
All Politicians are the Same


We are too busy doing something useful :)

The old seat covers and curtains were horrific.

Red Trousers

Useful…? I can see that the RFA and the sub-surface fleet are, but the grey funnel line? Spending my tax pounds on behemoths that won’t ever be useful. ;)

Still, the Andrew do always put on a decent cocktail party. Part of the trick is to do it in a sunny port and to hold it towards sunset, so you can have the Band of the Nearly Proper Soldiers marching up and down on the quayside playing pretty tunes, not to have to go indoors to admire the G-plan decor in the Wardroom, and chat up the local Mayor’s daughter. Always helps if you have a decent Messkit in scarlet and gold braid and so can stand out from the mess waiters with 2:2 engineering degrees from some desperate Poly in the north who have the social skills of a bus crash.

I am also a complete fan of the Affiliated Ship / Regiment concept, particularly when your ship is deployed somewhere sunny.

All Politicians are the Same
All Politicians are the Same


The whole affiliated Regiment thing works 2 ways. I was the liaison Officer for HMS Westminster and our affiliated regiment was the Household Cavalry Mounted Division. All was fantastic, trips to town, great meals, fab vino rosso etc. Then we took the ship to London :(
All of a sudden I am organising this and that event and to add insult to cocktail party am made duty and have to take charge of the band, combined guard and colour party.

Probably not as bad as the poor Royal Irish that Bulwark collected in Barcelona for a cruise back to Plymouth that ended up as upper deck sentries in Beirut a week later.

Red Trousers

APATS, you picked the wrong boat to be drafted to. You can’t trust the Tins, being either rich scrappy dealer’s sons or vagrants from the 19th century Eastern European aristocracy with dubious titles that can’t be proven either way. As soon as proper work appears, they’re offski.

Should have picked a Cavalry boat. :)

We had a fabulous return visit from our boat’s officers to Fallingbostel. EffingB is not by itself that exciting, but we had a combined polo team that won the NordRheinWestfalen Cup (2,500 DMs prize each), a big dinner in Hanover with the university with lots of pretty things attending, a night out on the Reeperbahn to which we travelled in a horse box with a case of champagne, and 3 days on the ranges firing. They thought it was epic.


Any news on the interior decor for the QE Class carrier’s officers wardroom ?

Particularly the carpet and curtains

Red Trousers

D, I think they are diamond encrusted. The centre piece is 1152 champagne glasses with an Irn Bru fountain.

They must be running out of things to spend money on by now.

Gloomy Northern Boy

…I understand the walls will have a fashionable cloth covering, mostly in shades of muted green…the MoD has large stocks of such cloth that they do not expect to use for other purposes. :-)

“Redbrick” Gloomy